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Where Are My Pants?

by Joel Knopf

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1.
Yesterday I wore a pair of pants (pants pants)  In the pocket of those pants there were some keys (keys keys)  I need those keys to get me out the door (door door)  Get out the door, I need those keys, where are my pants?  If I can't get out the door I'll miss the bus (bus bus)  If I miss the bus then I'll be late to class If I'm late then I will surely fail the test I'll fail the test, be late to class, I'll miss the bus, get out the door, I need those keys! Where are my pants? If I fail then they won't let me graduate (-ate -ate) If I do not graduate can't get a job And without a job I'll have to move back home I'll move back home, can't get a job, won't graduate, I'll fail the test, be late to class, I'll miss the bus, get out the door, I need those keys! Where are my pants? If I move back home then I will need some keys (keys keys) Wait! Did I say something about KEYS? I'll need some keys, I'll move back home, can't get a job, won't graduate, I'll fail the test, be late to class, I'll miss the bus, get out the door, I need those keys! (I really really really need those keys!) Where are my pants?
2.
Rat Attack 01:27
I was asleep in my big bed Heard a sound around my head Opened my eyes, what did I see? But a great big rat Stare back at me He start to run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-around I said get out get out get out get out get out get out get outa this town You don't belong, it's just wrong You stinkin' rat Get outa my house I see him fly in a crazy blur of skinny legs and dirty fur And then he runs right outa sight My furry lover gonna spend the night. I start to run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-around I said get out get out get out get out get out get out get outa this town You don't belong, it's just wrong You stinkin' rat Get outa my house Take it, boys. He start to run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a-run-a- run-a-run-a-run-a-run-around I said get out get out get out get out get out get out get outa this town You don't belong, it's just wrong You are a rat, or maybe mouse Get outta town, get outta my house You stinkin' rat! Get outta my house.
3.
End of the day, it's been a tough one But not after I've tasted Susan's poppyseed muffins You peel away the foil, smell that lemon zing Take a tiny nibble, and then you start to sing Lemon poppyseed They lift you up Like a hug when you're down Just the touch you need On an early autumn day When the rain is pouring down They're spongy as a belly and they're cuter than a button There's crinkly silver foil wrapped on every single muffin. The flavors frolic on your tongue -- their dance is improvised -- Lemons zing, seeds crunch, sugars gaily caramelize. Lemon poppyseed They lift you up Like a hug when you're down Just the touch you need On an early autumn day When the rain is pouring down The day after my birthday could've been an anti-climax: It rained. I thought I'd see a 3D movie at the IMAX. But Susan sent me something that looked sweeter than molasses. I didn't even have to wear those funny-looking glasses! Lemon poppyseed You lifted them up And sprinkled them around. I crushed on you, I believe, But when you crushed poppyseeds My world turned upside down. Lemon poppyseed They lift you up Like a hug when you're down Just the touch you need On an early autumn day When the rain is pouring down
4.
I am trying to get across as a river  Water’s rising, mighty high and wide.  When the sun comes up over the water.  I will make it to the other side.  Oh, Lord, my life has been a river  Full of trouble, trouble all the time.  When the sun comes up over the water,  I can take me to the other side.  I will find a place where I belong.  I will find a place to call home.  You will find the words to your own sweet song,   you’re not alone.  We are standing, standing by the river Past and future, stretching down the line  When the sun comes up over the water, lord,  We will make it to the other side. We will make it. We will make it. We will make it to that side. We will make it. We will make it. We will make it to that side.

about

Now you and your kids can sing along with 'Where Are My Pants' whether you're driving them to school or hunting for your keys during the morning rush. Special first edition EP of 'Where Are My Pants?', with photography by Huy Doan.

Thank you so much for supporting my music!

credits

released January 11, 2016

Musicians: Joel Knopf on kazoo, guitar, trumpet, organ, piano, rat, vox, vox, vox, etc.

Written, arranged, and produced by Joel Knopf.
Mastered by LANDR.

Thanks to Eugene Joseph, Emmy Brockman, Paula Junn, Emily Fassler, Zoē Yungmi Blank, Isele Harper, Eli Conley, Maia Papaya, Casey Armstrong, Rory Michelle Sullivan, Tali Freed, Justine Lucas, Emma Donahue, Paul Kaplan, David Ranen, my guitar teacher Joe I-forget-his-last-name-sorry, Village Harmony, my parents, and so many others for their support. You keep the music alive.

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Joel Knopf New York, New York

Joel Knopf is a singer-songwriter based in NYC. A musical omnivore, his songs range from faux-jazz standards to musical theater duets to spirituals. With unexpected lyrics and catchy melodies, his music combines the whimsy of Raffi with the lyricism of Iron & Wine. ... more

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